He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
