Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
