Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
