you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
