Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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