So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
