do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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