I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
