You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
40s are totally the cure
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
