I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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