somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
