Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
