i just had sex bonerless
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize