my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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