I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He better not be in your backpack
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
