respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize