Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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