Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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