the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
