the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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