Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
