you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
