No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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