I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
