whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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