Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
