1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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