I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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