I need help removing her.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
