You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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