Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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