You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
