do herpes really smell.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
