i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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