My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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