lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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