Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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