Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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