I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
