so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she peed on how many people?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
