why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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