I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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