I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
