I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
