good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
