Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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