Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
