Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
