Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.