dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH