I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.