Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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  (215): I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera http://tfl.nu/ivkx
  Replies (40) Good night (895) Bad night (2655)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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  (607): I've blown a few things in my day http://tfl.nu/5p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2821) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  susan atkins died, charles manson's lady

  (312): View more from Illinois

  dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.

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  (708): susan atkins died, charles manson's lady (312): dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on. http://tfl.nu/8zd1
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (2437)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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  (340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk
  Replies (21) Good night (3355) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (15761) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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  (330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj
  Replies (19) Good night (10570) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.

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  (814): He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well. http://tfl.nu/fer2
  Replies (13) Good night (2443) Bad night (3911)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be

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  (206): second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be http://tfl.nu/jh2s
  Replies (11) Good night (646) Bad night (2607)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

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  (512): I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted http://tfl.nu/8clw
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1056) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...

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  (587): The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort... http://tfl.nu/arh5
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?

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  (803): How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist? http://tfl.nu/6lhn
  Replies (5) Good night (485) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.

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  (602): Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials. http://tfl.nu/99ms
  Replies (4) Good night (245) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams

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  (440): Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams http://tfl.nu/en8l
  Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (586)

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