I never want to see another naked old woman again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
