So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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