Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
