she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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