But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
