wakey wakey hands off snakey
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize