well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
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He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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