he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
