she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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