How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I want to have your abortion
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
