well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
