So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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