No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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