One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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