do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
