I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize