Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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