Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
