he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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