if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Couch. On fire.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
