video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
