i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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