i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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